4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
