Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
