but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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