He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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