i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
