Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
