would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
