Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
