yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
