"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize
