"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
