lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I need to align my fucking chakras
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
