Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
