But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
