I feel like abortions should bother me more
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
