we have officially lost it.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize