i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
