sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize