Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
