If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
