During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
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