Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
