i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
