I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
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