I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
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