Your tits are I can't wait for
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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