okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
