i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
