One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
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