Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
