I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
