Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
