My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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