I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
