oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
