last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
You were trust falling into bushes
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
