he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
