I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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