how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
