They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
