He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize