I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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