I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
