what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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