I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
