I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
