I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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