Dual....:-)
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
