don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
