It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
