I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
