you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
