...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
