She is in my trunk
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
