there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
