don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize