we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
