i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
