Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize