i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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