Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
